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I can't say I've ever been particularly interested in swingers clubs, mostly because in my mind swingers clubs are the preserve of the old, desperate, and flaccid, gold-toothed Russian mobsters and characters out of Michel Houellebecq novels. But then came an offer from my girlfriend. She had been to a swingers club a few years before we met and found it quite fun. I said nothing at the time, mulling over it instead.

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My doubts about my own outfit were confirmed as soon as we walked in. Compared to everyone else in the club, I was dressed like a fucking dog. The glamorous woman that greeted us explained politely that my shorts were totally against the dress code, but since it was my first time, just this once, they were willing to let it go. Men could enter only if accompanied by a woman, while women were allowed in either way.

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The rules were made clear: Our belongings had to be left at the entrance, where we were given a towel and a pair of slippers. The couple should not at any point separate.

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Finally, we decided to go into one of the rooms. We moved into semi-darkness, while some 20 people engaged in various sexual activities in the space around us.